Thursday, February 5, 2015

2015: A SMOOTH ROLLER COASTER RIDE & A CLEAR BRIGHT SKY



woke up in the morning of 2015 in what seemed to be a mattress planted on a moving roller coaster .. 

First, after being almost jewelry-less for 28 years of my existence, I suddenly had the most beautiful ring I've set my eyes upon on my finger. It was overwhelming not because I have to get used to wearing another piece of jewelry aside from my $5 earrings but moreso because it had drawn out more emotions than my 28-year old self can comprehend! 

There was fear, there were questions, there were solid WTF's! (F for FUDGE! hehe) .. but behind those was a greater sense comfort, honesty and sincerity with its presence. It drew in a deeper, more sensible meaning than just being an engagement ring and that kept me safe .. 

Second, I experienced the worst bloggers block ever since I started blogging 3 years ago. It was not a happy situation to be in. It frustrated me each time I wanted to release my thoughts but when I start to jot in down, nothing! blank space baby, I can't even muster to write my name. total block. zero visibility, extreme Baguio fog levels! And for a self-confessed writing junkie, it made me really really reallllyyyyyy sad! I somehow felt I was losing myself, drifting away from something I really love .. it seemed like an impending break-up and that made me hold on really tight .. 

Third, reality bit me hard when I came back here in Singapore from my 2-week holiday. My mind was insanely hyperactive from the series of events that transpired back home and going to back to work with all these thoughts running, tumbling around my head was not helping at all. I wished it was jet lag and time difference problems but no, I was facing a new set of adult issues. I had that "do I really want to continue doing this am I happy what will make me happy" moment. It was making me lose my focus and that made me close my eyes so that I wouldn't see the next drop .. 

Fourth, I missed home soooo much that new year and till now! It was the miss of all the misses I've missed, I'm experiencing the worst case of homesickness so far in my 2 years here. I knew I was going to break down if I didn't hold my self together so to keep me calm and collected, I just allowed myself to scream on the top of my lungs every time my roller coaster mattress would make a turn to make me miss home ..

Fifth, LDR. It finally ..slowly .. dawned on me -- so, this is what it really looks and feels like in real life. Screw LDRs! Its hard and painful and heartbreaking and it has only been a month! I wont be home again till I dont know so this is going to be a challenge for the clingy-needy girlfriend in me. So, if I go full all out crayyyy anytime, please excuse me for wanting to jump out of a moving rolling coaster and land straight right into the arms of Lt. Zaldivar ... (gaaaah! cheese alert! iknooow! that .. was cringe worthy! haha!) 

Not the best way to start the new year huh? no fireworks too? sigh! New years has always been a big deal in my world so I had a pretty hard time accepting that 2015 woke me up this way -- dazed in a roller coaster of emotions. What year is it again? Sheep? S#!*bleep*? (err, uhm. Shizzzzzz you guys! shiiizzz! :p) 

I can't help but reminisce how 2014 woke me up all bright, warm, cozy and sunshine-y, complete with glitters and confetti, welcomed by fairies showering rainbow coloured pixie dusts accompanied by a happy jolly tune made by their pretty little wings! 

Ano raw?!!! Hahaha! 

Well, im a fan of roller coasters but THIS one i was on, THAT i had to stop! I had to keep myself calm .. i enjoy roller coaster rides sa totoong buhay! It does make my heart beat faster, scream louder and my mind hyper-er (hehe) but after the ups and downs and twists and turns is an amazing exhillarating feeling of "yay! fulfilment, woohoooo happiness, hooooraaaayyyy bliss!" .. and that's how I want to see how the ride is going to be for me this 2015.  


It's not magical, sparkling and fairytale-ish anymore .. 2014 gave me that already and I enjoyed every moment of it!  

So I guess, this year, the universe is challenging me to to sit back, (try) to relax and enjoy the ride minus the usual special effects and the complications I get myself into! haha. 

2015, I realised also opened up a clear bright sky for me that while I am overwhelemed in daze from this roller coaster of emotions, whenever I look up there is clarity and I can be covered with peace in my heart and calmness all over me. 

36 days into the year and this morning I woke with these realizations. I guess my mind has its usual good hyper back and so

I'm writing again! yay! Good sign! 

So, in the light of waking up to a better and hopeful morning, this is what I claim for my 2015: 

2015 is going to be a fruitful year of exciting changes, filled with heartwarming, priceless moments and the loveliest of surprises, of setting realistic goals and making more mature decisions, of better and more creative life hacks, of even more inspiring and amazing stories with the best life lessons learned .. and yknow, nothing too fancy and much less drama in a fun and smooth roller coaster ride with a view of the clear bright blue sky! :) 

Here's to all the best for our 2015 my 400k readers ... Cheers! :) 

Now lets all get this roller coaster started and get ready for the most amazing ride yet !


                     








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